I Said Yes at Impulse and It Cost Me

Looking back, I asked myself: "Is it doable?" That wasn't the question I should have asked. The better question was: "Do I have the capacity to do this? almost everything is technically "doable" if you stretch yourself far enough.

You can squeeze one more thing into the calendar, work a little longer, sacrifice your rest, rearrange your priorities, and tell yourself: "I'll figure it out, and sometimes, you do.  But the fact that you can do something doesn't always mean you should commit to it.

There is something incredibly appealing about saying yes straight away, like you don't have to wrestle with whether you have the time or capacity, and perhaps most importantly, you don't have to risk disappointing the person asking. 

You say, "Yes, I'll do it." At that moment, it feels like the right thing to do. But I've learned that an immediate yes often comes at the expense of something you haven't considered yet: your time, energy, existing commitments, or even your peace.

Sometimes, the wisest response isn't an immediate yes. It's: "Let me check my calendar and get back to you." Sometimes, the person receiving your yes has moved on with their day before you've even realised what you've committed yourself to. 

Meanwhile, you're the one left looking at your calendar thinking: "Wait. When exactly am I supposed to do this?" And that's when the cost of an impulsive yes begins to show. Your energy becomes divided, and the quality of what you deliver suffers. All because you answered a question you hadn't fully considered.

Being generous doesn't mean having no boundaries. And being a good person doesn't require you to say yes to everything.

Sometimes, the most responsible answer is: "Let me check my commitments and get back to you." That sentence has become one of the most important sentences I am learning to use.

Because a pause gives you something an impulse doesn't: perspective.